Contact Me

You can contact me over the following reasons:

  • You’ve said Bettlejuice three times and need assistance.  I have a particular set of skills that come in useful under these circumstances.
  • You have just opened a new 9 star all-inclusive, £15,000/n hotel in the middle of the Indian Ocean, with 5 restaurants ran by five different 3 Michelin star chefs that can only be accessed via a fighter jet, and you’re desperate to offer me a free stay to hear my thoughts.
  • You’re bored
  • Just because